So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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