I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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