I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize