did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize