My room smells like vodka and shame
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize