i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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