We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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