He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
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I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
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His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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