So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
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found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
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Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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