Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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