This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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