apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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