community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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