i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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