I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize