Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
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I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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