HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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