doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
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