i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
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so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
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He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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