i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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