the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize