my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize