The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize