I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So much Jack, so little girl.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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