I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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