tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He has the fingertips of a God
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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