my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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