As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize