like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize