So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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