dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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