Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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