im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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