I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize