would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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