dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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