Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor... http://tfl.nu/oppe
  Replies (3) Good night (872) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again. http://tfl.nu/x7y1
  Replies (66) Good night (2400) Bad night (932) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article. http://tfl.nu/yngr
  Replies (44) Good night (1234) Bad night (5260) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet. http://tfl.nu/lvr3
  Replies (12) Good night (5745) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on http://tfl.nu/unra
  Replies (20) Good night (6175) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves. http://tfl.nu/jfec
  Replies (32) Good night (4438) Bad night (2418) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this http://tfl.nu/qf5d
  Replies (2) Good night (2626) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick. http://tfl.nu/xla1
  Replies (6) Good night (1914) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke http://tfl.nu/oufu
  Replies (4) Good night (552) Bad night (2077) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires. http://tfl.nu/p299
  Replies (8) Good night (1275) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect? http://tfl.nu/nafu
  Replies (1) Good night (400) Bad night (1099) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help. http://tfl.nu/0nf6
  Replies (5) Good night (340) Bad night (972) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper. http://tfl.nu/1tdu
  Replies (6) Good night (361) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot http://tfl.nu/otr7
  Replies (3) Good night (647) Bad night (187) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.

  (231): View more from Michigan

  He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him. (231): He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up http://tfl.nu/uzdn
  Replies (3) Good night (556) Bad night (388)

Randomize