I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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