If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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