he thought i was a dude.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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