He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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