i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize