3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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