Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
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She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
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I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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