ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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