From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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