Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
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you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
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We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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