how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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