I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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