im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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